Audiobook: Welcome To The Monkey House (2006)

"The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Welcome To The Monkey House)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Welcome To The Monkey House - Read by David Strathairn (2006, Unabridged)

Audiobook: Player Piano (2009)

"Everybody's shaking in his boots, so don't be bluffed."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Player Piano)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Player Piano - Read by Christian Rummel (2009, Unabridged)

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Audiobook: The Sirens Of Titan (2008)

"Life for a punctual person is like a roller coaster. All kinds of things are going to happen to you! Sure, I can see the whole roller coaster you're on. And sure — I could give you a piece of paper that would tell you about every dip and turn, warn you about every bogeyman that was going to pop out at you in the tunnels. But that wouldn't help you any. Because you'd still have to take the roller-coaster ride, I didn't design the roller coaster, I don't own it, and I don't say who rides and who doesn't. I just know what it's shaped like"

- Kurt Vonnegut (The Sirens Of Titan)

Kurt Vonnegut's - The Sirens Of Titan - Read by Jay Snyder (2008, Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Mother Night (2008)

"Drawn crudely in the dust of three window-panes were a swastika, a hammer and sickle, and the Stars and Stripes. I had drawn the three symbols weeks before, at the conclusion of an argument about patriotism with Kraft. I had given a hearty cheer for each symbol, demonstrating to Kraft the meaning of patriotism to, respectively, a Nazi, a Communist, and an American. "Hooray, hooray, hooray," I'd said."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Mother Night)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Mother Night - Read by Victor Bevine (2008, Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Mother Night (1979)

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Mother Night)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Mother Night - Read by (Unknown Narrator)

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Audiobook: Cat's Cradle (1978)

"No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat's cradle is nothing but a bunch of X's between somebody's hands, and little kids look and look and look at all those X's..."
"And?"
"No damn cat, and no damn cradle."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Cat's Cradle)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Cat's Cradle - Read by Dan Lazar (1978, Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Slaughterhouse-Five (2003)

"So it goes."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse-Five)

Kurt Vonnegut reading Breakfast of Champions

"Kilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were making champagne."
- Kurt Vonnegut (Breakfast of Champions)

Kurt Vonnegut Jr. reading Breakfast of Champions (unknown date)

Audiobook: Breakfast of Champions (2003)

"Teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy: 1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Breakfast of Champions)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Breakfast of Champions - Read by Stanley Tucci ( 2003, Unabridged)
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Audiobook: Jailbird

"That was the strength of the Nazis," she said. "They understood God better than anyone. They knew how to make him stay away."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Jailbird)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Jailbird - Read by Bob Askey (Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Deadeye Dick

"You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages — they haven't ended yet."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Deadeye Dick)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Deadeye Dick - Read by Hal Petty (Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Galapagos (2009)

"That, in my opinion, was the most diabolical aspect of those old-time brains: They would tell their owners, in effect, "Here's a crazy thing we could actually do, probably, but would never do it, of course. It's just fun to think about. And then, as though in trances, the people would really do it — have slaves fight each other to death in the Colosseum, or burn people alive in the public square for holding opinions which were locally unpopular, or build factories whose only purpose was to kill people in industrial quantities, or to blow up whole cities, and on and on."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Galapagos)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Galapagos - Read by Jonathan Davis (2009, Unabridged)

Audiobook: Bluebeard

"My soul knows my meat is doing bad things, and is embarrassed. But my meat just keeps right on doing bad, dumb things."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Bluebeard)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Bluebeard - Read by Gordon Ghoul (Unabridged)
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Audiobook: Hocus Pocus (1991)

"Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Hocus Pocus)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Hocus Pocus - Read by Norman Dietz (1991, Unabridged)

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Audiobook: Timequake (2003)

Many people need desperately to receive this message: "I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them. You are not alone."

- Kurt Vonnegut (Timequake)

Kurt Vonnegut's - Timequake - Read by Lawrence Pressman (2003, Unabridged)

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